Kings no more.

You know the saying, bad things always happen to good people? Well what happens when bad things happen to good bands? The latter seems more deliberate, more unjustified, because more than anything it seems like their own choosing.

Recently, I have noticed a growing trend of semi-successful bands selling out on themselves having realised much is at stake, and the level of stardom and 'success' they can achieve if they just ditch their musical ideals.

And this is nothing to do with musical development - of course each album by each band will have a slightly different sound and tone whilst maintaining the overall sound of the band (just look at how dark Alex Turner's last Arctic's album was in comparison to the previous two) - what I'm talking about is a complete change in musical attitude once a band smells the cash.

Of course, you will probably know by now that I'm referring mainly to Kings of Leon. However, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, RHCP, and even the Spice Girls have all followed this trend - the Spice Girls being the interesting ones of the bunch. A completely manufactured girlband, their immediate success was worldwide and their debut album quickly became one of the fastest selling of all time. So the Spice Girls, in reality, never really had any musical ideals. Their band was created for them; their songs written for them, but each subsequent album was significantly poorer than the last due to the turnaround time of them churning each one out, one after the other. The Spice Girls already had their money, but as they became more popular, cashing in on this dollar became more important to the girls and to their management than their music. The Spice Girls brand was born, and as a result, their music - their poppy tunes what put them there in the first place, suffered.

In some ways, the same can be said for Kings of Leon. As a band, like the Spice Girls, they have gotten progressively worse. Like RHCP, it seems the Kings have completely altered their sound to become what they class as 'popular'. Listening to Youth and Young Manhood, you would never think it was the same band that sang Sex on Fire, which just so happened to become the ultimate chav anthem. The grimy southern rock of Trani and Joe's Head is barely comparable to the over-produced Closer, Crawl and the latest installment, Radioactive. Of course, the first three albums differ slightly in tone, which merely details a growing band becoming familiar with their musical abilities and trying new things. There's quite a big difference between YAYM and Because of the Times, but what is important here is that up until the third album, the Kings remained loyal to themselves and their original fans. Unfortunately, they smelled the cash when they released their fourth album, and so the commercial trend has ultimately been set.

However, a band's record company is as much to blame as the band themselves. Any bands first two albums take about 20 years to write; the record companies demand that the next two are churned out within 20 months, and so of course standards drop. This problem is escalated further when a band changes which record company they are signed with. I fully believe that had the Kings stayed with Ethan Johns, their music would not have suffered the dramatic shift in sound as it has with Sony, the daddy of all record companies. Sony, who also represent the likes of Joe McElderry, Alexandra Burke and Westlife, have also smelled the cash the Kings can bring. It seems a downward spiral.

Last year at Leeds festival, Caleb, having dedicated 'Fans' to all those who had turned up to see more than two songs, insisted that they were taking some time out to get back to their roots with their next album, acknowledging that their fourth album had lost them some of these dedicated fans. Well, call me crazy, but recording your next album over the course of five months in a NY studio hardly constitutes as TO Caleb.

And what you get with said new album is nothing but the Followill's selling themselves short in terms of musical ability. Their new songs lack memorability and boast the over-produced sound that Sony Music so loves. Gone is their dark and grimy sound with Caleb's southern drawl often being incomprehensible. Instead, we have almost whiny vocals that lack a change of pace, and from what Wikipedia tells me, five new members of the 'band'... Kings have always played their own instruments, done their own backing vocals, done everything themselves. Not any more. Apparently, we have Jacquire King, Angelo Petraglia, Liam O'Neil, Robert Mallory and Chris Coleman all on various instruments and adding their vocals to the mix. Is this really necessary?? Are Jared, Matthew and Nathan no longer up to backing vocals; are they now finding it difficult to multi-task with their new found fame? It leaves little to be desired in all honesty. When a record company recruits others to aid with a band's sound, it's a recipe for disaster. Smelling the cash does nothing for maintaining the musical standards the band usually set for themselves.

Instead, the band appear to have gone a bit soft. Gone are the references to drugs and sex, and the rock and roll lifestyle that dominated their songs (Sex on Fire does NOT count as a reference to this). Aha Shake Heartbreak has a parental advisory, yet post-OBTN, Kings songs are appearing on the Now compilations. Enough said. Plus, given the video for Radioactive, it appears they've taken a leaf out of Bono's book and opted for African children and a gospel choir, because of course, that sort of stuff sells. It worked for Bono and Geldof, after all...

Drummer Nathan is quoted saying "we got to the point where we realised that we can be known as a band that hit it hard for three records and disappeared, or be a band that was smart enough to realize that not many bands get to make four records, so let's make the most of this". Clearly, the Followill's were 'smart enough' to realise the prospect of the wads of cash that could be gained if they just rejected their musical ideals in favour of commercial Sex on Fire-like anthems that are guaranteed sellers. And with their yearly albums and tours being churned out left, right and centre at the demands of Sony, with their clothing range and TV appearances (Caleb appeared as a guest judge on US cook programme Iron Chef), anyone would be at the risk of mistaking their schedules with that of JLS...

And I know my opinion may not be everyone's, but I personally would have preferred it if they had made three records and disappeared. They would have kept my respect, and that of countless other fans. The irony is that many of KOL's newer fans I have spoken to post Sex on Fire have agreed that the songs from their back catalogue are better. What KOL have failed to realise is that any album post OBTN would sell because of its popularity. In reality, they didn't need to produce another popular album. They could have went back to their roots like Caleb said and still made wads of cash, because they've already hit the big time. They should have used this opportunity to show the world what they really are, or were. BRMC's third album was incredibly poor in comparison to the previous two, but Baby 81 picked up the standard again, and I admire them for that.

So why then couldn't the Kings do the same?

Well, of course the answer is money. To them and to Sony, they would be taking a risk by putting out another YAYM-esque album, as opposed to one that will guarantee them the jackpot.

The problem is, fans who have been with them since the early days will be very reluctant to buy into the Kings brand; to buy their records and buy tickets for their gigs. Because to them, the Followill's aren't the band that they used to be. And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a bands development, and I'm not the pretentious sort to dislike a band as soon as they become popular. Far from it. The problem arises when there's a complete shift in musical ideals. When it's not about the music any more, but, as Abba would say, about Money, Money, Money.

I don't know about you, but I won't be going to see the Kings live again until they're playing the small dingy venues again, like New York Dolls recently did. When they're older and a little wiser, and when the initial honeymoon period with the charts has cooled off, maybe then I'll get my wish of hearing them play Wicker Chair and Talahina Sky live. But at this rate, I guess I have a lot of waiting to do until that is likely to happen. And so for the time being KOL, I shall have to love you up until Because of the Times, and leave you Only By The Night onwards. I'm sure, or I hope, that I will love one of your new albums one day - I just can't imagine it will be any time soon.

Carry on Camping...

I realised one of my dreams today.


That dream is in the form of a VW camper van. Whilst browsing online for I can't even remember what, I stumbled across a website which had the campers for hire, and suddenly everything seemed to fall into place. All I want is to go to Glastonbury in one of these babes.








I have always loved the idea of vintage holidays - of trips to the seaside in Blackpool or Brighton, with striped deck chairs and b&b's and donkey rides on the beach, and then on to the funfair for giggles. I tried to convince the boy that a summer sunny holiday in Blackpool was the best thing since sliced bread, but sadly the British weather let me down and as of yet I have been unable to get him there.






So as you can imagine, the VW camper holiday is a prospect that I heart. And what seemed even more perfect is to combine it with the daddy of all festivals, and drive down to Somerset in one of these babies. For a start, the drive down would be fabulous, and secondly, there's nothing more I love than the thought of being the ultimate hippie at the ultimate hippie festival in an old camper. At Glastonbury, the sun (mostly) always shines, and sleeping in one of these rather than a tent would make it so much more exciting. For a start, the campers have their own campsites, so it really would feel like being on an old quintessentially British holiday.

My imagination has gotten really carried away with me and I've been attempting to conjure up ways to cover the cost of hiring a camper. So far, I have prostitution (I jest). More than that, all I'm thinking about is sitting outside of this pastel blue beauty, with my vintage striped deckchair and outdoor table with a gingham table cloth, eating my breakfast in my straw boater and getting excited about the impending Glastonbury day.

There's something else you should know about me; Cath Kidston is one of my biggest life loves. My bedroom is adorned in her florals, so much to the extent that it kind of looks like a CK advert (not necessarily a bad thing)... So you can imagine my delight when I stumbled across this absolute BABE of a van, complete with retro floral interiors which really would make it, for me, a home from home... And don't get me wrong, I love my tents. Daisy, aptly named as she is daisy-patterned, is one of the loves of my life. The only downside is that she is a two man, which makes sharing somewhat difficult. Rucksack full of clothes for a pillow anyone?? But seriously, I think it would make my life to be in a retro caravan. My father's next door neighbour actually sold his house, bought a VW camper and set off to tour the world aged 65. And to me that sounds like a dream. But I'm not ready for the gypsy lifestyle just yet. I have many places to go and many people to see, but for now that place to go is Glastonbury, and the people to see are all the many thousands of people that attend every year; all the many bands that play. I'll get my own VW and drive around the world at some point in my life I'm positive (I feel the name Martha might adorn my first van - not exactly sure why; the matronly yet motherly and sturdy name sums up to me exactly what a camper should be: safe, loveable and FUN). Which is why a Glasto-campervan is the best combination. I am quite positive no other festival nor in fact anything other than Glastonbury can produce the cathartic, relaxed and ultimately happy effect upon all of its attendees. And what perfect way enhance these memories by camping in the ultimate campervan?

And so from now until June 2011 I will be trying my hardest to find the dollar I need to hire myself one of these babies. Well, one can only dream...

HellO GlastO

Oh my GOD.

I got my tickets.

I cannot describe the feeling of relief and sheer excitement having endured 2 and a half hours infront of my laptop with many tabs open, hoping and praying that I'd get through, when finally the booking form popped up on my screen and I quickly filled in my details and comprehended the exciting times that are to come.

Glasto is my favourite festival in the world. Being a serial festivaller, I am relatively well travelled with my wellies. I've been to Leeds, Benicassim on numerous occasions, Glastonbury and V festival in Canada, and although all of my experiences have been amazing, nothing compares to the hippie vibe that is Glasto. Leeds is mental and very twinky, Beni has the benefits of the sea, sun and sand, but the music often lacks in comparison to other line-up's and sleeping in a tent there is an experience, and the Canadians aren't the biggest fans of alcohol and so the designated drinking areas at V over there didn't go down too well with us Brits (I went with my dad, and he was appalled...). And where there is a downside to every other festival I have attended, there seems to be no downsides of Glastonbury; no limitations and nothing that I would ever change. Okay, well maybe the toilets could be a little better (Leeds has hand sanitiser and toilet roll, need I say more?). But genuinely, nothing can quash my excitement or the feelgood mood that one gets from just being at Glasto.

Last year, the route to Glasto was one that began in excitement, and ended in torture. Having travelled for 6 hours with four changes by rail, I felt elated when I finally got off the train at Castle Cary station. It was midday on the Wednesday, and the weather was beautiful. I could not wait to get there! However, this joy was short-lived, as I found myself standing in a queue with my rucksack on my back for approximately 8 hours. I arrived at Glastonbury exhausted and sporting a trapped nerve in my arm due to the weight of my rucksack, and I just wanted to sleep. The next morning however, none of that mattered. Glasto has that effect on people where you just cannot help but being so incredibly happy and genuinely overjoyed to be there.

And so you can imagine my excitement at the fact that I have my ticket for 2011. Needless to say, I am not travelling by train this year... I cannot wait to pack my Ray Bans, my straw boater and my wellies (well, I actually need to buy some more as I lost them after Leeds, however you get the picture). Other than food and alcohol, they're all I need. And my headscarves of course - 5 days worth of ellnette leaves my bouffant looking somewhat dishevelled...

I cannot wait to see the line-up; I cannot wait to see the acts and I cannot wait to be there. I got a cup of piss in my face after Prodigy in '09 and even that wasn't enough to kill my mood.

I'll leave you with a selection of my favourite photos from my Glastonbury adventure. The next one can't come soon enough...

If you got the money...

Yesterday was possibly one of the most greatly anticipated days of my year. Pay day. Given the fact that I haven't had any real disposable dollar since March when my estate agents popped a lovely rent fiasco email in my inbox and my financial world turned upside down. So as you can imagine, to be finally in the plus feels amazing.

So, naturally, once finishing work, the first thing I did was head to town. Well, it was late night shopping for a start, and my student card sadly expired yesterday, and so I have no wave farewell to the complimentary Topshop 10% and plunge into real adulthood by paying full price for apparel. Not good. I genuinely feel like something major has been taken away from me - I've been using and abusing NUS since I was about 14 and the first ConneXtions cards came out, and to have that privilege denied to me is somewhat upsetting. I will never be able to convince myself that it's perfectly fine to spend 100 sheets, because really it's only £90... I must stop thinking about it before I get upset.

Money really does make the world go round. Think about it, Jamie T, Abba and Pink Floyd have all sang about the stirling coin. And without it, well sadly the world is just a miserable place. What about when you're caught in the rain and can't afford an umbrella? Unlike Gene Kelly, the rain doesn't want to make me sing, and other than the odd occasion when it might be fun to get soaked to the skin, I feel the rest of the world may share my sentiments. I used to love the idea of rummaging around for pennies to afford a Starbucks, but sadly having lived it for many months, the street urchin lifestyle no longer appeals. So it felt joyous to be trailing around shops yesterday, actually having money in my bank to fritter away. When I went to London in the summer for example, I spent a measly £60, mainly on the tubes, and I had to leave behind the amazing black velvet and silver glittery top in Camden Market because 40 dollars was way out of my price range. I didn't even buy a postcard. And now I'm clearly rectifying the situation by splashing out on lots of delightful necessary, and unnecessary, items. Yesterday for example, I had a spending spree and bought the boy some clobber for his birthday (including the most gorgeous chunky knit jumper that Alan Partridge would be jeal of), some Wizard of Oz paraphernalia for my house and a set of Russell Brand tickets. Yes, the Brand. I'm so excited I may actually orgasm in my pants. He is like my dream man, and if he offered to whisk me off in his winklepickers and leave the boy behind, I most definitely would. KP just doesn't cut my high standards for the British babe. I am clearly so much better...

Anyway, have a leather miniskirt to buy from Urban Outfitters before it disappears out of stock forever, and so I must dash, to spend yet more of my monthly salaried wage that I'm adoring at the minute... X